| ECW TUESDAY NIGHT |
[21 Jun 2006|08:07am] |
ECW Tuesday Night Recap: June 20, 2006
It can’t be as bad as the first one, right?
Open with candles, and a hot vampire chick. NICE green eye shadow. Flashback to RAW, RVD taking out Edge and Sabu taking out Cena with a sweet leg drop on the announce table. Hype for RVD and Angle v. Edge and Orton. To the opening!
We open at Albany with Joey and Taz. We seem to be cutting the crap this time around, and the lights are down around the ring. It’s a nice touch, and makes the show feel a little more personal. It’s still not like the original ECW, but then again, this is a NEW BREED UNLEASHED, right?
Sabu v. Tony Mamaluke w/ Trinity
Trinity looks hot again, although in a skanky, dominatrix kind of way. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Sabu controls early with kicks and leg drops, before Mamaluke knees him in the gut. Mamaluke controls, kickin a little Arabian ass. Sabu back with a slingshot leg drop, and he’s back in control. Baseball slide to the outside, and now we’re brawling. Sabu with a chair and he planchas to the outside. First E-C-W chant of the show. Joey says that you won’t see this on RAW, but just last night, I saw that on RAW. Sabu sets up a table, but gets attacked from behind. Mamaluke beats on Sabu with a chair, and then gets slammed in the face with a chair coming off the top. He sets Mama on the table, then puts him through it with a pretty sweet slingshot elbow. Sabu with the camel clutch, and it’s over. Somewhere, B. Brian Blair shudders. Quick, but competent. **
This is already better than last week. But then that wouldn’t take much, would it?
Kelly the exhibitionist is back! And she admits she got a little excited, and couldn’t take her bra off. She’ll be back soon to drop her pretty lil’ panties for us.
RVD Promo
He’s wearing the belts, one on top of the other. Looks pretty dumb, Rob. Just sayin’. Hypes the tag match later, as well as his Vengeance match. Not surprisingly, he looks stoned.
Big Show v. Tommy Dreamer
That Big Show. He big. Showdown in the middle of the ring and Tommy’s got a mic. He tells Show that to make it in ECW, he’s got to go through Tommy. Show is all like, “Whatever dude,” and beats the shit out of him all the way outside the ring. Show posts Dreamer, and we’re back in the ring. Show keeps pounding him, and this isn’t going well for Dreamer. Show with a choke into a backbreaker, and Tommy is DOA, like Deadmeat in Hot Shots! Show is done, and walks to the back. N-R
Now, this was perfectly acceptable for what it was (showing Show as a monster), but what does this really do for anyone? We all know Show is big, strong, and big, so why do we have to pound this into the ground? Can’t we have Dreamer fighting some OVW guy, pound each other with various plunder, then have Show destroy them afterwards? Wouldn’t that get across the same point, and make someone else look good? If Tommy is just going to be enhancement talent, don’t waste him on the Big Show.
Flashback to ECW: ONS 2, and Orton tapping out.
We’re back from commercial with the vampire again. Zombie time? Nope, we get…
Macho Libre v. Sandman
Oh, great. He speaks Spanish AND Machomanish. He says everything twice. He says everything twice. OH I GET IT. “Macho” Libre. Ha. Macho wants to “snap into a fight,” so out comes Sandman! He charges through the crowd, no beer. Macho runs his mouth, Sandman runs the cane on his head. NOW we get the beer pound. White Russian Legsweep, and we’re done. DUD, but Macho Libre was a little funny. A very little.
I hope this show slows down and actually let’s things soak in one day. I know they only have one hour, but this is crashing ahead so fast, they make TNA look like masters of pacing.
Heyman is in the back, and is told of Cena’s arrival. Heyman says that “it’s time for action.” What kind of action? I hope it’s total, or at least non-stop.
We’re back, and Heyman rallies the troops, but Cena walks right in anyway. He either has a black eye or been hanging out with Jeff Hardy too much. He talks to Sabu and compliments him, before noting how he is not ECW. Cena says he’s pissed about being attacked from behind, but challenges the whole ECW roster to come to Vengeance and calls for an Extreme Lumberjack match on Sunday versus Sabu. And Cena leaves.
Kelly is out again, probably to show her muff. Or at least tease it. Hey, she’s got Snoop Dogg music! Snoop! Snoop a loop! Anyway, she dances, shimmies, blah, blah, shirt comes down a little. I wonder if that got caught too. Nope, off it comes! Hey, she’s lip-synching along! I thought she looked a little like Ashlee Simpson. Ah, they gave her a front-clasp bra to solve her little issue. To end it, some guy comes out to cover her up and take her to the back, and the crowd doesn’t seem too happy. Whatever.
The big tag match is up next, and we still have 20 minutes left. That seems like a good sign.
Promo for Test, and they actually make him look pretty good. That should last a couple weeks.
Edge and Orton v. Angle and RVD
Edge is out first with his cum receptacle. Lita has a new trailer park-skanky hairdo, so she has that going for her. Which is nice. Also, tits out to here. Edge says that ECW and its fans suck, and no one really cares. Orton is out next. Here comes our Olympic hero! And he doesn’t suck anymore! His new music won’t let him. Crowd does not pop all that well for RVD, but that’ll get better as the brand gets established. Alright, let’s get the match going, shall we?
We start with Angle and Edge. Angle takes down Edge, and then suplexes him back. Angle tags in RVD, and RVD uses extreme forearms, but gets cornered, and Orton tags in. RVD controls, and does a leaping side kick to Orton, and Randy is out of the ring. Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron, and Orton looks more confused than the Zombie at a funeral. ARGH? ARRRRRGH! Edge tags in, and RVD kicks him around, because that’s what he does. Lita pulls down the top rope and RVD tumbles out, leading to commercial time.
We’re back and RVD is taking a whupping from Edge, but RVD fights back, only to have Orton tag in and kick his ass. Double team in the corner on RVD, and he’s thrown into the announce table. Not through, mind you. Edge then throws him into the steps, and rolls him into the ring, only to get a two count. Orton in, and he nails a pretty nice dropkick. Pin attempt gets two. Edge back in, and RVD kicks him a couple times, cuz that’s what he does. RVD crawls over to tag Angle, and he begins suplexing the shit out of Orton, then Edge. Angle reverses an Orton suplex into the Ankle Lock, but Edge drags him out. Angle, hits an over the head belly to belly suplex on Edge that leads to an Angle Slam, but Orton chops the knee as he picks up Edge. Orton works on the knee, and tags in Edge. Edge now throws Angle out only to roll him back into the ring. Angle gets a choke of some kind, but it’s broken up. Orton back in, and he kicks Angle around a bit. Tag to Edge, and he whips Angle into the corner, only to be Germaned by Angle again. Hot tag to RVD and he kicks Edge in a bunch of different ways and pescados Orton. He goes after Lita, then gets a chair, and ends up smashing Orton with it. Ankle lock on Edge, But Lita breaks it up only to get Angle Slammed. Orton sneaks in and hits the RKO on Angle, only to be missile side-kicked by RVD. He goes for rolling thunder, but Edge catches him with a kick. Spear is countered with a belt shot by RVD, 5-Star Frog Splash, and we’re out! Decent match that had some great action at the end. ***
Well, the show was a lot better. We can discuss the merits of almost exclusively pushing current or former WWE stars (and the lack of Zombie), but at least I wasn’t embarrassed to be a wrestling fan while I watched this. Much better Paul, I hope they keep you in charge.
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| Updated King of the Ring fantasy booking |
[09 Apr 2006|07:31pm] |
So the WWE released the bracket for the King of the Ring. Its not very dynamic in that there are only Smackdown wrestlers involved. Still, there is a great opportunity to elevate a new name, while still maintaining the King of the Ring as a tournament of excellence. So here is the bracket as given on WWE.com:
Angle v. Orton
Hardy v. Booker T
Benoit v. Finlay
Lashley v. Mark Henry
Well, we all know Angle has that first round match. Orton's little D in the E incident with Stephanie settled that. Booker T should lose to Hardy, if only to continue his program with Boogeyman and give Hardy something to do the next couple weeks. Benoit should go over Finlay when Lashley interferes. Lashley should go over Mark Henry when Finlay's interference backfires, and the black hole of charisma that is Mark Henry finally collapses on itself. That sets up:
Angle v. Hardy
Benoit v. Lashley
Frankly, Angle doesn't need to be in this tournament. He's a past winner, and already the man. So lets get him out of here. Hardy wins when JBL interferes, thus setting up a high profile feud over the US title. To be frank once again, Lashley should not win this thing either. He's still hella green, and would not make a credible champion or even serious challenger. Yet. He will by this time next year, though, I bet money on that. So Benoit wins cleanly, setting up:
Hardy v. Benoit
Look, I want a Rey Rey v. Benoit program. I think it will get both men way over, and make Rey Rey look like a credible champion who can also put on fantastic matches. So I think that you have a rockin match between these two guys, possibly a Ladder Match, with the crown above the ring or something. Make the stip that the winner gets a shot at the title at the next PPV. SO the match is rockin along, Benoit goes up the ladder, then gets bumped off just as he touches the crown, and Hardy climbs and wins. That'll set up Rey Rey v. Hardy at Vengeance, or whatever PPV is coming up. During the match, as Rey Rey is about to get the win over Hardy (clean), Benoit comes down and beats the unholy hell out of both guys. DQ win for Rey Rey, and I get my Rey Rey v. Benoit program, as he snaps back into rapid wolverine mode. HArdy comes out looking good, as he can be the obnoxious King of the Ring heel that always seems to happen after someone wins the tournament. I think that, all in all, this is the best way to go. So my guess is that the WWE has Finlay or Lashley win, since those choices make the least amount of sense.
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| 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Main Events |
[07 Apr 2006|10:32am] |
So while I find it very difficult to compare entire Wrestlemanias, I think its fair to compare Wrestlemania main events. After reviewing all 22, I found that ten of them are just much better and "feel" so much bigger than the others. So here we go, in descending order:
10. Wrestlemania XI- Bam Bam Bigelow v. Lawrence Taylor:
I know what you're thinking: holy shit, how could he pick this one? It's a great match. Not Super J Cup great, but the crowd is in to it, Bam Bam is game, and LT is great. Plus, it has that main event feel, that big, special, once-in-a-lifetime grace that only some main events have. It makes the list.
Match Rating:***
Main Event Rating: ***
9. Wrestlemania XXII- World Title Match, John Cena vs. HHH:
Not a great match. Turn off the sound, and its actually quite boring. But turn it up? DAMN. I'm not sure I have ever seen a crowd this polarized and hot in ANY Wrestlemania main event. It was love or pure hate, and it was intense. That factors in, giving this match a huge boost, and making it feel like a big, important MAIN EVENT, despite the weak build up.
Match Rating: ***
Main Event Rating: ***
8. Wrestlemania XII- World Title Iron Man Match, Bret Hart v. Shawn Michaels:
Now I'm usually in the minority in that I find nearly all Iron Man matches after this to be more entertaining, that does not take away from the fact that this match was great. It was fun, original, intense, and certainly gave an otherwise lackluster Wrestlemania something to hang its hat on. A better match than a main event, but still great in what it was.
Match Rating: ****
Main Event Rating: ***
7. Wrestlemania I- Mr. T and Hulk Hogan v. Roddy Piper and Mr. Wonderful:
Alright, alright, not a great match. However, it places this high for two very good reasons. One, it established that Wrestlemanias and Wrestlemania main events are not just wrestling matches, but big time events with celebrities. Also, it established that the good guy wins. That wouldn't be broken until Wrestlemania 2000, and it was a mistake when it happened. This main event was big time like Big Ben, and definitely deserves its place in this ever so important list.
Match Rating: **
Main Event Rating: *****
6. Wrestlemania V- World Title Match, Randy Savage v. Hulk Hogan:
Getting close to the rarefied air of Wrestlemania main events, but this one just doesn't quite make it. It was a huge match, and could have been THE Wrestlemania match of its era, but there were just too many limitations. I mean, they really needed to sell Macho as actually having a chance. Everyone knows Hogan is going over here. Everyone knows how he is going over. Its just a question of when. Still, when you watch it, it just feels HUGE. And it was. Until a couple months later when Zeus got involved, thus ruining all men named Tiny to me.
Match Rating: ***
Main Event Rating: ****
5. Wrestlemania XX- World Title Match, HHH v. Shawn Michaels v. Chris Benoit:
Now we reach the really, really great main events. While this match did not get the build or publicity of other Wrestlemania main events, it set a quality standard for all other main events to measure up to. This is arguably the greatest in Wrestlemania history, with Steamboat-Savage, the first Ladder Match, and Hart-Austin being the only other matches that can rate in terms of wrestling. So why is this fifth? That "Main Event feel." It just didn't get a great build, and the match didn't seem like the culmination of a great storyline. But what a freakin match.
Match Rating: *****
Main Event Rating: ***
4. Wrestlemania XIV: World Title Match, Shawn Michaels v. Steve Austin
DX versus Stone Cold. Mike Tyson versus Stone Cold. Vincent K. McMahon versus Stone Cold. Just doesn't matter. If you want to see how you build to a huge match, this is it. I mean, damn Gina! The place just explodes left and right for everything n this match. Knowing how bad Shawn's back was, its really amazing that he was even able to wrestle, yet alone put on a relatively good match. Same thing with Stone Cold's neck. Throw in the hungriest man in boxing's history as well, and you got a hell of a match that WAS the culmination of a huge storyline.
Match Rating: ***1/2*
Main Event Rating: *****
3. Wrestlemania XI: Champion versus Champion, Hulk Hogan v. Ultimate Warrior
One of those "dream matchups." It is amazing that the match actually occurred, because this was the first time that two fan favorites faced off in Wrestlemania main event. Fans were salivating for this match just to see who would actually win. I mean, Hogan hadn't lost at Wrestlemania, and Warrior was being booked as an absolute MONSTER. I just don't know what else to say about this. The match was actually pretty good, too! Second best Warrior match I have ever seen (he topped himself the next year with Savage).
Match Rating: ****
Main Event Rating: *****
2. Wrestlemania III- World Title Match, Hulk Hogan v. Andre the Giant
Whether there were 93,0000 people or 70,000 people in the Silverdome that night, one thing is for sure: there were a lot of fucking people there. Just ridiculous. And why were they there? Because they were workrate freaks, and just KNEW Savage and Steamboat were going to tear the house down. That, and they wanted to see midgets interact with Hillbilly Jim. Nah man, Hogan-Andre! No main event of any wrestling card EVER has been more anticipated than this. HOGAN-ANDRE! And he slams the oversized fucker! Place just goes ape shit. How often was Hogan booked as an underdog? I don't know what else to say. Match was pretty bad, but then Andre was getting up there and was reportedly in a lot of pain most of the time. Don't know if any main event will ever top this in terms of just how "BIG" this match was.
Match Rating:*
Main Event Rating: ***** x2 (Thats how big it was)
What have I left out? I know I'm forgetting something... HHH-Batista? No wait, that sucked. HOGAN-BUNDY in a CAGE! Wait, thats was even worse. Alright, I'll stop delaying. The number one GREATEST WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT EVER IS...
1. Wrestlemania IX: Impromptu Title Match, Yokozuna v. Hogan
...ok, ok, its actually...
1. Wrestlemania X-7: World Title Match: Steve Austin v. The Rock
Okay lets look at why this is the greatest main event. First, the crowd is hot and huge. The Astrodome was PACKED, and decidedly pro-Austin. Second, this match had some fucking BUILD. The two biggest names in modern wrestling? You're damn right people wanted to see this match. They were two of the best wrestlers and the two best entertainers, period. Third, the match itself. Super intense, fantastic, brutal match. Just brutal. Especially the ending, where Austin just pounds the shit out Rocky. Even when he allies himself with McMahon, the crowd STILL pops huge for Austin. Amazing, as perfect as any Wrestlemania main event can be.
Match Rating: *****
Main Event Rating: *****
Some interesting things about the top 10:
Hogan shows up four times on the list, but that shouldn't be too surprising, as he has been in eight Wrestlemania main events. Shawn Michaels shows up three times, pretty amazing considering he has been in only three main events. Austin and HHH both show up twice. Austin has been in a three main events, and as they say two out of three ain't bad. HHH has been in five main events, and two out of five... well, thats not so great. Worse than Hogan's percentage. I mean, LT is one for one. So is Bam Bam. Even the Warrior! Fucking HHH.
In chronological order, Wrestlemanias I, III, V, VI, XI, XII, XIV, X-7, XX, XXII are represented. You can consider the first four as the Hogan era, the next two as the New Era, the next two as the Austin Era, and the last two as the HHH era. The lamest period of main events is clearly between Wrestlemanias VII-X. Just not a great period of main events, what with Sgt. Slaughter, Sid, and Yokozuna eating up (ahem) all that space.
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| Fantasy booking the new King of the Ring |
[06 Apr 2006|08:11am] |
Alright, lets have a go with this:
Smackdown! Region:
Angle v. Orton
Finlay v. Lashley
Burchill v. Regal
Hardy v. Benoit
Raw Region:
Carlito v. Masters
Flair v. RVD
Kane v. Big Show
Benjamin v. Haas
SO I booked this based on preexisting feuds, and I did my best to keep out past King of the Ring winners. On the Smackdown side, Angle destroys Orton to put him out for 2 months and moves on to the second round. Finlay and Lashley pound the crap out of each other, but Lashley ultimately finishes him off with a Dominator. Regal gets a measure of revenge over Burchill for the wench deal, and moves on using an INTERNATIONAL OBJECT. Of doom, no less. Then, in a crazy match, Hardy beats Benoit with assistance from Rey Rey, who was punked out the week before by Benoit ( I just want to see Rey v. Benoit for the title).
On the Raw side, Carlito beats Masters with...well, a lot of cheating. RVD beats Flair after interference from Kamala 2.0. Big Show and Kane fight to a no-contest after there falling out from losing to the Spirit Squad. Benjamin fights a surprise opponent, the returning Haas, who puts on a great match, but ultimately loses to the IC champ.
So we have:
Angle v. Lashley
Regal v. Hardy
Carlito v. RVD
Benjamin (BYE)
Lashley beats Angle convincingly after Angle caught a beatdown in the back from JBL (helping to legitimize the US title by having JBL and Angle feud over it). Hardy beats Regal in a stiff affair. Carlito cheats like a sonofabitch, but still loses to RVD.
This gives us:
Lashley v. Hardy
RVD v. Benjamin
Now this part will go on the PPV or Saturday Night's Main Event or whatever. Hardy beats Lashley, who put on a good show, but doesn't need to win the King of the Ring just yet. RVD loses to Shelton, and I think we can all imagine how athletic and fun this match could be. In the final, Shelton and Hardy have a crazy, all over the ring, ladder-infested affair that ends with Shelton standing tall as the new King of the Ring.
I like this set up because it sets up Lashley, Hardy, and Shelton as potential title contenders, as well as makes RVD look good as well. Being able to call himself the King of the Ring will make Shelton an even bigger asshole heel.
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| Quick Wrestlemania Recap |
[04 Apr 2006|01:26pm] |
Saw the show today, and it was, on average, better than I expected, but didn't have any super memorable high points. Anyway, here we go:
Kane/Show vs. Carlito/Masters: Eh, not much to this. Hindsight being nice, it did set up a BIG Spirit Squad win and Carlito turn, but overall, not much there for a Wrestlemania match. *
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Should have been the opener. Shelton is awesome, Flair is crazy, and RVD is crazy over. While not very long, it definitely went SPOTSPOTSPOT very well. Not gonna lie, I liked it. *** 1/2*
Edge v. Foley: What can I say? Foley can brawl like nobody's business. And he's done it for so long. Case in point: Go back and watch Bash at the Beach 93 with him and Sting. It's like his brawls with Austin and HHH, but five years earlier. That being said, this one was unique because each spot was a "can you top this?" answered with, "yes, yes I can!" The most memorable match, and got Edge more over in 20 minutes than everything else he's done in the past two years. ****
Benoit v. JBL, US Title: Forgettable. Dammit. **
Stratus v. James, Women's Title: Mickey is awesome, Stratus doesn't suck, the match just didn't flow. The cooter grab was crazy, however, and I am beginning to LOVE nutjob James. F'd up ending, perfect way to end a strange match. * for the wrestling, **** for James' being convincingly nuts. We'll say ** overall.
Taker v. Henry, Casket Match: Hey, don't shit on this match too hard, they were going for it. It's just that Mark Henry isn't very good, and Taker has never had a good match where he is primarily on the defensive. I always love a good Takerplancha, however. **
Booker T/Sharmell v. Boogeyman: Man, does the middle of this card either a.) Suck, or b.) immediately become forgettable? This match, a.) Sucks. I feel like walking up to Preggers Steph, bitchslapping her, and telling her to never job out Booker T at Wrestlemania again. I guess he has to lose here to make up for that big Battle Royal victory at last year's Wrestlemania. Wait, you didn't see it? Oh yeah, thats because it was ONLY ON THE DVD!! DUD.
HBK v. Vincent K.: Why did I like this match? Because I LOVE watching VKM take a beating! It got me through 1998 AND 1999. The whole HBK degeneration was half-hearted though. Didn't even need to go there, but I guess the crowd dug it. Also, HBK DID shut down the internet with that elbow drop. ***
Angle v. Mysterio v. Orton, Smackdown Title: No no no,this was good. Seriously. 10 more minutes, match of the year, hands down. Alas, it didn't happen. Don't know why, they weren't pressed for time. Also, I would have liked to have seen what that 619 around the ring post would have looked like if Rey could have pulled it off. Overall, though, a very good match with (despite what you bastards keep saying) a believable victor. Good for Rey. *** 1/2*
Torrie v. Candice, Pillow Fight: Couldn't we have used Jamal to run out and end this, instead of a perfectly good Flair promo? DUD.
Cena v. HHH, Raw World Title: I agree with the guy that said that if you watch this with the sound off, the match sucks. But the crowd made this pretty damn awesome. The pure, unadulterated hate for Cena was INCREDIBLE. HE may be the greatest Wrestlemania heel ever. But I didn't care too much for the ending, as I feel that it bastardized Benoit's tapping out of HHH. Now it's like he'll tap out to anyone. If I were to wrestle HHH, I'd go for a quick armbar and toast to that shit all the way to the bank. Still, hot match that had a "main event" feel. ***
So the average for all the matches? a little over **. One **** match, four ***+ matches, two DUDs. The rest were very average. So, like I said, overall, better than I expected, but no supergreat high points. So there you go.
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